I'm a firm believer that if you go on vacation and fail to get laid, it wasn't a vacation at all-- just a waste of money someplace else. In my mind that extends to single people hooking up or spending QT with your sig other. I never thought that it could be a 'sure thing' where you picked a good-as-trafficked broad and had a beachy keen vacation and paid a service for your 'companionship', I had also never heard of the Viking Resort.
A little bit about Whore Heaven from the source:
"Are you there yet?
Upon arrival at our splendid villa, you and your friends are greeted by an extraordinary welcoming party. A stunning array of attractive, sensual women, selectively picked from the most exotic regions of the world.
These beautiful girls, who are between 18 and 26 years of age, exhibit only the finest qualities that we feel our clients have come to appreciate in the past.
This initial private gathering gives you the opportunity to become very well acquainted with all of our lovely ladies who eagerly await to be the ones chosen to accompany you on your Viking Escape.
Viking's Villa
A lush retreat of private elegance and breathtaking beauty with dramatic ocean views, private beach, and a spectacular pool and Jacuzzi. Our Villa's dramatic setting is pure "sin-sational" pleasure. Our hideaway comes with an array of James Bond style girls from exotic countries like Russia and Brazil, to mention just a few.
With champagne flowing and a variety of exquisite meals prepared by your own award winning chef, it just doesn't get any better than this.
Personal Companions
Once chosen, your fantasy girl(s) will serve as the perfect compliment to what promises to be an unforgettable stay at "Viking's Resort".
Whatever your background, we think you'll agree that there comes a time in life when one should reap the benefits of hard work and sacrifice, when one should take time to enjoy the pleasures so richly deserved. At "Viking's Resort" our clients are King, no work - no worry, just pure bodily pleasure.
Imagine the fun and excitement of being accompanied by beautiful girls in an exotic and tropical environment. Traveling alone doesn't necessarily mean being alone anymore. Lying around the pool in the shade of a coconut tree, your smiling companion brings you your favorite drink while you let your mind wander."
Ok, I now know that I'm not nearly old enough, fat enough or desperate enough for something like this to appeal to me in the least. Let's pretend for a moment that I was interested. In the words of Solomon King "How much does it cost ya":
Viking's Standard Package
Individual reservations for 4 days and 3 nights are $3,900 and include:
The company of the companions for 4 days and
3 nights
Accommodation in a Standard guest room
All meals and drinks served at the villa
Complimentary spa services
Transportation to and from the local airport
VIP reception at the airport upon arrival
Welcome Cocktail Party
Our Standard rooms are air-conditioned and are located on our resort grounds adjacent to the main Executive villa. The Standard villa offers a more tranquil setting and is set back from the activities at the main villa. It is the perfect package for individuals, those who prefer a little more privacy, or would like to relax in peace and quiet away from the main villa.
The above fare covers ALL ADULT ENTERTAINMENT (there are no hidden charges)!
Now Lets Class it up a bit and see what a king in the castle splurge on:
Viking's Ultimate Fantasy Package
Sometimes perfection is just not enough. For those gentlemen that want to experience the most exclusive vacation possible, an unsurpassed level of luxury and the absolute best of Viking's, we have designed the Ultimate Fantasy Package just for YOU!
Individual reservations for 4 days and 3 nights are $7,900 and include:
Two girls for each night of your entire stay
Pre-selection of your favorite girls for the first night of your stay and/or "first pick" of your favorite girl or girls at the Welcome Cocktail Party.
The company of the companions for 4 days and 3 nights
Accommodation in a VIP Suite
All meals and drinks served at the villa
Complimentary spa services
Transportation to and from the local airport
VIP reception at the airport upon arrival
Welcome Cocktail Party
Lifetime membership to our 'members only' section of the website
Guests on our Ultimate Fantasy Package will be guaranteed one of our luxurious VIP suites, where you will find all of the comfort and luxury of a 5-star hotel, with four-poster King beds, a heavenly sleeping experience with fine Egyptian cotton linens and rich bedding, Frette towels and bath robes, twice daily housekeeping service, complimentary laundry, a full range of toiletries wrapped in a gift bag with fine soaps, shampoo, conditioner, and body lotion by L'Occitane.
Each VIP Suite includes an ocean view, a private sitting room, in-room bar, Bose� Wave� Radio CD system and iPod compatible player, and an upgraded bath to include either a personal Jacuzzi tub or large dual showers (you pick whether you want to take a bath or a shower with your companions!)
The above fare covers ALL ADULT ENTERTAINMENT (there are no hidden charges)!
body lotion by L'Occitane and a wave radio totally worth 8 grand plus $100 service fee per night; right?
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7 comments:
I wish it was a true Viking fantasty with helmets and pillaging. That might be worth it.
now i know where you'll be on your next "mancation".
yeah man, i was hoping for some big norse looking dudes with spears and shit. this is no fun for me. no fun at all
I see this place is very similar to an outfit I visited last July (www.charlisangels.com ) and the script is the same: booze, chicks and beach villas.
This is the greatest fucking thing I've ever heard of. Thank you for opening my eyes to this.
Well said.
What a great idea! Is it really what they say it is?
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