Myspace Social Grace

I'm pretty socially inept when it comes to certain situations, particularly when it comes to friends and their dates/spouses/goomada's. I have this knack for unintentionally mixing people up with a previous date or current spouse and making it uncomfortable and potentially volatile for all involved. Truth be told: most of you choose unremarkable people to interlock genitals with; people so devoid of personality and distinctive appearance that I wouldn't recognize them on America's Most Wanted. If you're fucking a friend of mine and reading this, don't get offended if I know your name and talk to you, I'm not talking about you.

Thanks to Myspace, this problem has lessened greatly. I can just go to a friend's page, check their top friends, look for cutesy messages and figure out who the new broad is, and more importantly, who she isn't. It's also a fantastic resource to find out who your ex's are banging and get a giant boost in self confidence. I'll know not to ask about what's-her-name if she got the boot from your top friends. Best of all: for my own personal satisfaction I can tell who's down with O.P.P, based on comments from opposite sex friends, who like Santa Claus are figments of childish imaginations.