Doggie Douche

In every park and on every street in every town lurks the most no game having motherfucker with a gimmick in the world: The Doggie Douche. The DD is slightly worse than that caveman conversationalist known as 'dancing guy' in the world of picking up chicks. With his canine wingman in tow, the douche hits the streets hoping that some dopey broad will start cooing over his prop pet so he can be all Jack London and start in with the dog stories. Good 'ol Double D misinterprets chicks smiling because of his dog as interest in him and is quicker on the draw than Wild Bill to strike up a conversation about pedigrees, rescues or some other boring shit.

The real problem is this shit works sometimes. Granted, it works on the kind of women that would respond to a dude hollering out of a car window; but it still works for these schmucks. They should take the gimmickry one step further and borrow a baby from an unfit mother and play sensitive single dad instead of ever developing a personality.